How to Floor a Man with your Pelvic Floor...

After a shocker of a day where my car decided to have a major meltdown - ironically, 2 months out of warranty, I have a funny story that put a smile on my face, if only for a minute or two.

Having only had a major service last week, I jumped in my car to pick up my little ones from school and as I turned the ignition, the "there's a door open somewhere" light kept beeping at me. I did a lap of the car, opening and closing (slamming) doors, TWICE, including the back door, and the stupid thing kept beeping. ALL THE WAY TO SCHOOL!

Anyway, I decided that since the mechanic was on the way between getting my 5 year old from big school and 3 year old from pre-school, I thought I would drop in and play the "dumb, pregnant, oblivious female" card and see if they could fix it. Being pregnant, and having side swiped a car already two weeks ago, coupled with the usual frustrating traffic around the school at that time of day, I did not want to be responsible for what I might do if I heard that bloody sound any longer! Added to the beep, because the car's brains thought there was a door open somewhere, I was unable to lock it up so add that to the stress factor - leaving my car with 2 car seats, 2 prams, a camera, numerous CD's and about 10 pairs of sunnies in the glove box was just not an option.

Anyway, I pull up at the service department and a young guy heads over. Gave him a brief rundown of the problem and he has a look at the dash for warning lights.

"Oh yeah, I remember your car," he said, "we were all wondering last week what that note meant?", he continued, pointing to a piece of paper attached with sticky tape to my dashboard, just above the speedo. It reads, simply : PELVIC FLOORS

Ah yes, it was SO not my day..

Brief backstory - and a biology lesson for those who are clueless as to what this means (my childless sister included!): put simply, your pelvic floor muscles are those which stretch to allow your new baby to pass through your vajayjay and though they take a battering during a normal delivery, by doing small, contracting exercises prior to childbirth, one can help strengthen these muscles, improve elasticity and prevent permanent damage, such as wetting your pants every time you watch "The Hangover" in the future.

Like most things during pregnancy, you forget to do these all important "exercises" but it has been suggested that you do them at times you are not really doing anything but sitting still eg at the traffic lights, standing in the checkout line or watching television, as a way to ensure you don't forget to do them. Hence my little reminder on the dashboard - originally meant for my eyes only. Note to self - should have removed the note PRIOR to putting car in for service to avoid now uncomfortable explanation that was to come.

So, how did I explain this to a man, you ask? I asked him if he had a partner who had kids, mumbled something about "little exercises that help your fanny get back to normal after childbirth" and turned a very deep shape of ruby red. He grinned and said his wife had Caesareans so never had that problem. When this day started I did not for one second think I would be discussing my nether regions with a complete (male) stranger!

Anyway, after assessing my car and determining it was a short circuit/central locking malfunction that should be covered by warranty (oh, that's right, I am about 60 days too late!), he booked me in for Thursday, I thanked him for his help, to which he replied "no, thank you, it has been very educational!". Nice! Done my good deed for the day!

As for my note on the dashboard - it will stay for the time being (not long to go now anyway!) - but has it been effective, you ask? Well, in the past month since the note has been there, I have done my little "exercises" maybe once or twice so the short answer is "not really". Having said that, when I posted my little experience on Facebook, one of my friends noted that it's funny how your car always seems to have a problem once the warranty runs out. Another very quick witted friend of mine responded to that with: "everything plays up just outside warranty, including pelvic floor muscles". Boom, tish, Trish!